So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
