This girl is more easily done than said...
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
