Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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