so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
