Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Randomize
