so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
Randomize
