Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
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