Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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