giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
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