How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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