Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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