my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
