Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
He? As in you personified your dick?
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Randomize
