Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
