How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
