i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
