i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Randomize
