i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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