you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
