Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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