ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
