so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
