NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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