her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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