You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I lost the right to judge tonight
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
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