fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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