Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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