Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
