idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
