Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Randomize
