when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
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