i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
