This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Randomize
