I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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