actually, I'm a sock model
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
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