he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
