I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize
