she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
