I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
