hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
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