Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
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