They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
