i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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