The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
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