dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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