Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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