you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Randomize
