i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
PS: I just woke up from my shower
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Randomize
