she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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