whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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