She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize
