An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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